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Squirming 19

Squirming 19

Chapter 19 Old Wounds 

MARCIA’S PERSPECTIVE 

I stood there for a long time, just breathing, trying to wrap my head around it

The forest was still around us, as if it remembered. As if it, too, had been waiting all this time for someone to return and mourn properly

This was the place

This was where my brothers fell. Where Ryke and Arthur breathed their last. Where Thane Xendale roared one final command before the enemy swallowed him whole

And it was just dirt

Just a patch of earth that looked like anywhere elseuneven grass, short shrubs, and rough stones scattered around

But I could feel it in the air. The weight of it. The ache pressed into the soil

My knees locked, but I didn’t move. I didn’t want to. If I moved, I would fall apart

I was strong enough to fight an army of soldiers

Chapter 19 Old Wounds 

But I wasn’t strong enough to hold myself together. Not in the place haunted by screams of my family

A slow breeze passed through the trees, brushing against my face like father’s ghost. As if he was here. As if he was trying to reassure me, comfort me

My heart tightened painfully in my chest

But I didn’t cry

I couldn’t

If I did, I was afraid the tears wouldn’t stop falling

Dravic stood behind me the whole time, silent, but present. He didn’t speak. He didn’t fill the space with stories or distractions. He just stood there, allowing me to feel it

I opened my mouth to catch my breath, but a choked cry left my lips. I slapped a hand over my mouth

No. I had to hold back

I heard him move behind me. He stepped closer, his 

presence 

and his scent washing over me. Slowly, an arm wrapped around me, pulling me gently against his chest

I didn’t resist. I turned around, burying my face in his chest, closing my eyes shut

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19 min left 

Once I welcomed his touch, he wrapped his free arm around my waist as well. His chin rested on the top of my head, face nuzzling into my hair

A tear rolled down my cheek. Then another. And one more

I shook with sobs, broken, desperate ones

Dravic didn’t say anything. Didn’t silence me. Didn’t reassure 

  1. me

He just held me. Strong and steady

His scent was familiar. Grounding and comforting. Warm. Like a hot drink whilst a storm raged

And there was something else too. Something deeper. A soft hum under my skin. A cool breeze of relief in my chest

A sense of safety

I didn’t quite understand it. It wasn’t love. It wasn’t desire eithernot really. It was something older. Like I was coming home to something I didn’t know I’d lost

But I didn’t question/it. Not here. Not now

He held me until my breathing slowed. Until the ache in my chest settled into something bearable. Not gone, but not 

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Chapter 19Old Wounds 

overwhelming either

19 min left 

He slowly pulled away, and I raised my eyes to meet his gaze. His vibrant, green eyes

His arm moved from my waist up to my back, gently rubbing it. He then cupped my cheek, odd tingles blooming under my skin. I found myself leaning into his hand, wanting more of his skin against me

You ready to go back, Mar?he asked, voice low. As if he was afraid to scare me

I nodded

We walked back together in silence. His hand found mine after a while, fingers lacing

I didn’t pull away

It felt right

By the time we reached camp, the sun had lowered behind the hills, casting a soft amber glow over everything. Smoke from the cookfires curled in the air, mixing with the scents of blood and leather and ash. War never smelled clean, not even after the 

battle ended

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19 min left 

Dravic led me past the main tents, towards a corner of the camp where my father’s old friends were settled

They rose to their feet when we approached, eyes softening when they saw me

Lady Marcia Xendale,one of them said, stepping forward. It’s good to see you.” 

I cracked a smile, staring at my father’s crest on his cloak

Were you close to my father?I asked, my voice quiet

Knew him?he asked with a short laugh. I bled beside him. Fought with him in the Border Wars. He saved my life more 

than once.” 

Another stepped forward. And Ryke. That boy had a grin that could shame the moon.” 

He did,I whispered, the heat of tears filling my eyes once 

more

As though he somehow sensed it, Dravic’s hand gently settled onto the small of my back

And Arthur,said a third man, shaking his head fondly. Stubborn as ever, even in battle.” 

I didn’t trust myself to speak. I just nodded, feeling my throat 

5/7 

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Chapter 19 Old Wounds 

burn

*) 19 min leff 

They sat with me around the fire, like I belonged there. Like I was a long lost friend they’d found after decades

They asked about my training. My squad. Whether I had enough food. Whether my boots were holding up. One of them offered to reinforce them with wolfhide leather. Another gave me a pendant with a moon charm, one he claimed was enchanted to make anyone fall in love with me

My wife wore it all the time,he said. It’s why I was so enamoured with her.” 

I listened. I smiled. I didn’t mention that he loved her on his own, because the charm was ordinary

I answered what I could

But I didn’t tell them about Kael. About the rejection or the divorce. The broken bond. The relationship that had ended in humiliation and betrayal

They didn’t ask either. It was better that way

I didn’t want to see their faces fall. Didn’t want them to feel like they’d failed my father by letting me marry someone unworthy of the Xendale name. And I didn’t want them to pity me or hate Kael on my behalflike I knew Dravic did

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Tonight, I just wanted to sit beside the fire, hear old stories, and remember that once, long ago, my family had been something worth following into battle

Something good

Something noble

Something I still carried with me. In my blood, in my gait, in the sound of my voice and my footsteps

Dravic stayed beside me, his gaze flickering to me from time to time. He was making sure I was okay. Ensuring it wasn’t too much for me

When I caught his gaze, he gave a small nod, and a gentle, almost too charming smile

I didn’t know what to make of the way his eyes held mine

But somehow, it felt like being seen

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